Is pòsaidh mi . . . I will marry

Marriage is more than finding the right person. It is being the right person. (Unknown)

Paul proposed this morning. I accepted and I’m feeling like the luckiest woman alive. In marrying him I will gain the kindest and best of husbands, a man whose thoughtfulness of others inspires me to be a better person.

A Gaelic song keeps running through my head. “Is pòsaidh mi,” means “I will marry.” To marry someone is also to marry their family, but in my case I’m also marrying a country. I will always be a Texan, but I will also be Scottish resident. And in doing so I return in joy to the country my ancestors left in desperation for a better life. In the Scots Gaelic language, one cannot be married to a spouse, but rather at a spouse. I will be married at Paul, and I will be married at Scotland.

Song of the Day: Tighinn Air A'mhuir Am Fear a Phosas Mi by Capercaillie. Someone after my own heart has made a lovely slideshow of Scottish scenery to accompany this song. While I’m not marrying “the shepherd of the yearling sheep” described in these lyrics, I like it all the same.

Cullen Skink, Cows that Wink, and Felonious Fajitas

“Everyone has a risk muscle. You keep it in shape by trying new things. If you don’t it atrophies. Make a point of using it at least once a day.” (Roger Von Oech)

Recently Paul and I visited the town of Cullen with his parents. It’s a lovely place full of 19^th century fishermen’s cottages and narrow streets. We checked out the local landmark Bowfiddle Rock, a uniquely formed rock along the craggy coastline. I adore the coast in northeast Scotland. Steep, rocky cliffs overlook blue water and compliment a soundtrack of crashing waves and keening seagulls. This is why I came here.

Paul’s stepmom, who is from the area, took us to a café that reportedly serves the best cullen skink in the area. That’s a fish soup whose name comes from the Gaelic word for “essence.” I was dubious about this soup made of haddock, but decided to give it a go. It’s creamy and not at all fishy - a bit like New England clam chowder but even better. I loved it! Afterwards, we took a drive and I got a close up interview with some highland cattle. These cows are known for their long hair and friendly personalities. They’re very photogenic and eagerly left their dinner of fine local hay to pose for my pictures. One of them, who should be a bovine model with a proper agent, seemed to wink at me and say “hey, baby – check out my horns.” We have longhorn cows in Texas, but they certainly don’t come with such long hair.

I’ve gotten very excited about cooking lately, ever since my dad turned me on to Amazon’s new grocery products in the UK. They have a number of small importers who sell such treasures as chipotle peppers in adobo sauce, green chilis, and even Stubb’s BBQ sauce from Austin! I’ve also been inspired by the recipe blog Homesick Texan, written by a Texas native living in New York where she can’t find all her preferred ingredients. The homemade varieties of food are a hell of a lot better than the crap that passes for Tex-Mex in the supermarkets here. Old El Paso has cornered the British “Mexican” market, selling fajita kits that include things like Bar-B-Que sauce and crispy fried chicken. Perhaps it was a bit of homesickness talking, but I actually wrote to them and told them BBQ sauce and fried chicken do not belong in fajitas. I begged them to hire someone in product management who actually knows something about Tex-Mex cuisine. Maybe they’ll hire me! What a laugh that would be.

Photos: Bowfiddle rock, beach photos, cullen skink highland cattle

Song of the day: The Bluest Eyes in Texas by Restless Heart

(yeah, I know it’s not Scottish. It’s stuck in my head because of an essay I’m writing)

Whiskey, Haggis and Burns

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere !
and gie's a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll tak a right gude-willy waught,
for auld lang syne.

-Robert Burns

Two weeks ago we went to the Glenfiddich whiskey distillery in Dufftown. Situated in an area with more castles than Aberdeen has seagulls, it is clear why the area is called the “Malt Whiskey Trail.” (The castles are closed for the winter but we plan to return.) Glenfiddich has been made in Dufftown since 1886 and has been selling single malt around the world since 1963. After a tour full of smells, steam, and enormous barrels, we got to taste 3 varieties. My parents will not be surprised to learn that I liked the most expensive one, aged 18 years. When Caitlin and I first tasted whiskey in October, we swore to only ever drink whiskey that was put in the barrel before we were old enough to drink it. The older I get, the more expensive (and better tasting) shall be my whiskey. I think this is a fine benefit to aging.

On Friday Paul and I attended a Burns supper with his parents at their local golf club. One doesn’t have to be posh to play golf here. It was invented in Scotland and is a game for everyone. I didn’t see one pair of plaid pants, but there were quite a few men in kilts. Burns night is a tradition in Scotland and around the world. It’s a celebration of the poet Robert Burns, composer of “Auld Lang Syne” and “A Man’s a Man for a’ That” among others. Each year folks gather to recite his poetry and eat a dinner of fine haggis, neeps and tatties. Haggis is made of less desirable meat bits combined with barley and spiced nicely. Neeps are turnips and tatties are potatoes, both served mashed. I had lots of fun listening to people recite long Burns poems from memory and share some laughs. Unlike the “traditional Scottish evening” I attended as a tourist in Inverness years ago, this was an actual Scottish evening complete with haggis, music and dancing and it took place among a real community of friends. The evening closed with everyone signing Auld Lang Syne (including all the verses American’s leave out). I learned that to sing it in Scotland involves holding hands with your neighbors with your arms crossed in front of you and bobbing to the beat. What a night!

Song of the Day: Auld Lang Syne, performed by Scottish legends The Tannahill Weavers and sung to a lesser-known tune.

Photos: Glenfiddich Distillery (2) and Haggis with neeps and tatties (and cider), Paul and Me on Burns Night

30: The List

“My dinner, dress, associates, looks, business, compliments, dues, ...The real or fancied indifference of some man or woman I love,...the sickness of one of my folks...or of myself...or ill-doing... or loss or lack of money...or depressions or exaltations, ...They come to me days and nights and go from me again, but they are not the Me myself.” (Walt Whitman)

When my plane touched down in London yesterday, I felt an actual, physical change. I’ve completed 30 years of life. I live in a new country. I’m in love again. It’s as if I could feel the literal closing of one door and the opening of another. So what’s left behind me?

I’ve always been a planner and a list maker. When I was young I would trace outline maps of the US, colouring in the states I’d visited and making endless trip plans to see the rest. I still enjoy checking things off lists. Inspired by the little book “2,000 Things to Do Before you Die,” I have compiled a list of some of the things I’ve done in 3 decades. Some are proud moments. Some I’d rather forget. Some I’d love to repeat. So many are the average, every day experiences that make up the majority of our lives.

In my first 30 years I have:

Survived cancer

Visited 49 of 50 US states

Studied and lived abroad

Fallen in and out of love

Rescued stray cats

Slept on feather pillows

Sung the national anthem at a professional baseball game

Watched too much tv

Been very religious

Been very un-religious

Questioned God

Questioned authority

Questioned society

Questioned myself

Travelled to Asia

Eaten strange foreign food

Worn stilettos

Gone barefoot

Smelled the roses

Seen the sunrise over Oahu

Hugged a child – or rather lots of them

Volunteered

Professionally wrapped Christmas presents

Hiked in the Rocky Mountains

Learned Reiki

Done yoga

Planned my wedding

Cancelled my wedding

Studied Hebrew, German, Latin and Scots Gaelic and mastered none

Studied Judaism, Buddhism, paganism and Christianity and mastered none

Published my own poetry

Memorized the poetry of others

Broken no bones but toes

Walked the dog

Learned to cook

Attempted at failed at sewing

Met US Congressmen and Members of the British Parliament (nerd alert!)

Started a marathon with an actual megaphone

Been on television

Been on radio

Been in the newspaper

Broken hearts

Been heartbroken

Lost a friend

Found a friend

Parasailed in Mexico

Jet-skied in the South China Sea

Failed at ice-skating lessons

Run away

Found my way

Lead the way

Got carried away

Star-gazed

Dreamed of the future

What’s on your list? And what have you not yet done? Have you closed old doors and opened new ones?

Resolutions

"An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.” (Bill Vaughn)

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” (Seneca)

2010 has been the most interesting year of my life. The first six months were spent chomping at the bit to get the hell out of Dodge and start my new life in Scotland. Then came visa woes, then a last minute arrival in Aberdeen, followed by culture shock, studying hard and learning plenty. In November I met someone special. For those of you who haven’t already heard me gush, his name is Paul and he’s lovely. (He also reads this blog so I can’t gossip too much!) I end the year surrounded by family and friends and with time for a bit of serious reflection. It’s time for that annual deep question: What am I resolved to accomplish in the new year?

My New Year’s Resolution is this: Be present. The Buddhists I know will recognize the difficulty in this. The rest of you are probably asking “how could you be anywhere else?” I say to you that we Americans excel at just that - constantly being somewhere else. If we’re in a meeting, we’re really making a grocery or to-do list. If we’re driving the car, we’re at home in our minds preparing dinner. If we’re at dinner with family or friends, even then we’re often thinking of everything undone that we still need to accomplish. So my goal is to be exactly where I am at least once a day. Right now I am sipping ice water and writing a blog. Later I’ll be drinking champagne and toasting 2011. I’m going to try to actually be there drinking the champagne and toasting 2011 instead of stressing out about my unfinished literature review due in 2 weeks. See the challenge?

Another resolution, one I share with Paul, is to see more of Scotland! “Finally!” you say, “I was wondering when she was going to post some pictures of Scotland in this blog about Scotland!” I hope to see a bit more of the countryside, castles, coastline and maybe a whiskey distillery. This is a resolution worth keeping!

What are your goals for 2011? I think the top of your list should be “visit Kimberly in Scotland!” I’d love to welcome any of you. Come on over any time!

The song of the day is “The old yeare now away is fled” a 16^th century English tune, performed here by the Texas Early Music Project, a fantastic choir in Austin which performs old European music. I just picked up their holiday cd and I’m addicted.

Happy Holidays!

“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Dear Family and Friends:

In the hurry to finish essays for school and fly to Texas I did not get a chance to send paper holiday cards this year. I ask your forgiveness and offer this holiday blog greeting instead!

Winter hit Aberdeen hard at the end of November and I have never in my life seen so much snow! Of course, considering it’s only snowed a handful of times during my life in Texas, that’s not saying much. Airports have been shut down and motorways are crawling. The first snowstorm saw roads full of abandoned cars and lorries (trucks), effectively crippling transportation in Scotland for a week. I’m blessed to say that I escaped before the second storm hit and I am now safely in Texas and enjoying the 70 degree sunshine.

School has been exciting but also more challenging than ever before. I’ve always managed good grades in the past with minimal effort but I’m actually having to work this time! I’m definitely learning more than ever. My term doesn’t end until January 17^th so I am working on a major paper over the holiday break. It’s strange being back in Texas. I’m driving for the first time in 3 months and while the freedom of the open road has its allure, I’m finding the distances feel longer and the time spent driving tires me more than it did before. Now that I live a city-center walking lifestyle, all of this car travel seems exhausting. I’m also noticing how much space we have in the US. Roads have several lanes. Two people in a restaurant will be seated in a giant booth that would seat six in the UK. Elevators are extremely roomy. I suppose everything really is bigger in Texas.

I’m taking some time to reflect on the changes happening in my life and trying to enjoy every moment. This has been a year of tremendous ups and downs and at the end of it I feel exhausted, exhilarated, and grateful for all the love you’ve shared with me this year. I hope the New Year brings you blessings sought and a few good surprises. May you rise to any challenge and find joy in the small things.

All my love,

Kimberly

Photo: University of Aberdeen sports field in the snow

Song of the Day: Gabriel’s Message by Sting – a hauntingly beautiful tune I’ve just discovered on his holiday album

Highs, Lows, Castles and Whiskey

“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?”

Kahlil Gibran

The last couple of weeks have brought highs and lows. Caitlin and I had a wonderful time exploring Aberdeen. She got to know some of my university friends and gave me her official consent to go on living here. The day after she arrived, we went to my classmate Jan’s house for an English Sunday lunch. Jan, her husband Pete and daughter Jennie (who is my age and my fabulous new friend) fed us a huge lunch of roast pork and stuffing and more wine than I’ve ever consumed in one sitting.

My friend Laurie took us to a concert where her boyfriend was playing last Saturday night and we topped off the evening with a 2am trip to the famous pie shop. If you live in Aberdeen and you’ve had a “night out,” your presence is required at Thain’s pie shop in George Street, where they sell savory pies full of things like macaroni, lasagna, or pork. I had been a little skeptical about the notion of encasing pasta inside a pastry, but the lasagna pie did not disappoint. Perhaps it was the time of night or maybe I’m a real Aberdonian now!

We also visited Dunottar Castle in Stonehaven, a few miles south of Aberdeen. The castle is perhaps the most picturesque in Scotland, situated on a rocky cliff and complete with a soundscape of crashing waves and keening seagulls. Intermittent rain showers created dozens of rainbows and we could only stare in wonder as pictures do no justice to the scene. (Caitlin did take several photos and I’ve included them here.) After spending some cold, rainy hours on the cliff we came to understand why the people of Scotland refer to whiskey as “the water of life.” I’d never liked it until that day. When you are cold and wet and shivering, it warms you up better than an electric blanket. My parents used to say I would learn to like beer after spending several hours doing manual labor in 100 degree heat. The opposite is true for whiskey. Experience a winter here and you’ll be buying stock in Glenfiddich.

Caitlin left Monday and I immediately came down with the flu. This could be related to our hour-long trek through ankle-deep snow to get home on Saturday, or just because everyone here seems to be sick at the moment. This afternoon I dragged myself out of bed to go to the doctor and fainted 3 times while waiting for the bus. I kept finding myself on the ground in the snow without knowing how I got there. This was definitely my lowest point since moving here. I actually sat down and cried, not knowing what to do and feeling utterly miserable. I called Jan and she sent Pete to pick me up and get me some flu medicine. She has also offered to bring me to their house and look after me until I feel better. I opted for my own bed since it’s closer and there’s no one in my flat for me to infect with my germs. Asking for help has never been easy for me, and being sick and alone is no fun either. However, if I hadn’t had that low point today I wouldn’t have had the chance to lean on someone. Jan and Pete and Jennie have taken me into their family in such a short time. Laurie and some of my other classmates have been checking on me all week. It is abundantly clear in my present state of drugged-up stupor that I am not alone here. And that is the best feeling I’ve had since arriving. So the worst and best moments happened in the same day. On that note, I’m going back to bed.