Thursday, August 19, 2010

Letting Go

The blessings keep rolling in. Friends have taken me to lunch, hired me to do odd jobs, and even taken me shopping. Today Caitlin bought my car. And I let it go in gratitude and peace. This decision was months in the making. I knew it was silly to keep it registered and insured when I didn't need it. Because it was a gift from my parents, I was afraid that selling it would upset them. When I got to Texas to weeks ago, broke and needing to finance my return to Scotland, I sought wisdom on how to find some money under a rock. I could hear my own voice say, "Sell the car. I told you that months ago." It just so happened that Caitlin's car died while I was in Paris and she needed another one. She specifically wanted the kind of car I had. And it all fell into place. She gets a car for less than she had planned to spend and I get money to go back to Scotland. It couldn't be more perfect. And so I let go of the last tangible piece of my life in Texas with joy for our shared financial blessing.

This summer has been all about letting go of the physical things that bound me here. My next challenge will be to let go of old pain, an absolute requirement for my own health and well-being as I build a new life. I read Elizabeth Gilbert's "Eat, Pray, Love" on my recent trip and had personal revelations all over the Atlantic ocean, France, England and Wales. Though my life story differs from hers, the wisdom she channels though this book is striking. Today I'm pondering the following:

"Clearing out all of your misery gets you out of the way. You cease being an obstacle, not only to yourself but to anyone else. Only then are you free to serve and enjoy other people."

Recently I was struck by the realization that my own unprocessed fear and grief has the potential to harm not only myself but others around me. I don't want to be an obstacle. I want to be a source of compassion for myself and those I love. So I strike out in a new direction, sort of an emotional detox. I'm not sure what the next step is, but it will present itself before long.

Here's to letting go!

Song of the Day: Let Go by Frou Frou

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